


forever by your side

by soukoken



Category: Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: Coming Out, Cuddling & Snuggling, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, can be read as platonic with romantic tension, no beta we die like our hope for ouran s2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:20:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27796027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soukoken/pseuds/soukoken
Summary: Kaoru felt safe in Kyoya’s arms.(or: how kaoru's mental breakdown lead to him and kyoya cuddling on the music room floor)
Relationships: Hitachiin Kaoru & Ootori Kyouya, Hitachiin Kaoru/Ootori Kyouya
Comments: 4
Kudos: 115





	forever by your side

**Author's Note:**

> title from "shadow ii" by bulldog eyes
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gE_GHdOs_Xo

Kaoru felt safe in Kyoya’s arms. 

He really did. 

On the rare occasions that the older boy got to hold him; whenever he got separated from his twin, when they worked on club related matters together, and in the privacy of Kyoya’s home. That’s honestly where he felt the safest, and the other knew that. 

They didn’t have a label for the two of them, but they were definitely more than just friends. The younger Hitachiin had never been that vulnerable with anyone else, besides his other half— but even that was hard sometimes. 

They both knew that the Shadow King felt the same way, the rest of the club would be incredibly surprised to see the uptight Ootori so touchy with another human being. He  _never_ initiated physical contact with another—the only time he ever hugged anyone were the times when Tamaki practically crushed him in a hug (which he couldn’t reciprocate even if he wanted, as his his arms were always pinned to his sides). 

It all started one afternoon during club— Tamaki was off chasing Haruhi, as per usual, and Hikaru was most likely trying to stop him or woo the girl himself. 

Kyoya and Kaoru were left alone in the club room—Honey senpai and Mori senpai off observing the chaos—when Kyoya asked him. 

“Is there a particular reason why you’re not off chasing Haruhi like your twin?” 

Kaoru looked at him sheepishly, shrugging, “I’m leaving her for Hikaru, I guess.” The words  _I don’t swing that way_ remained unsaid. 

“Ah, so probably the same as me then.” 

“I’m not so sure about that-“ 

“You feel like your closest friend deserves her more,” Kyoya pushed his glasses back into place, “as well as...Other reasons, most likely.” 

The Hitachiin looked down.  _Damn him. He figured it out, didn’t he? He’s so observant—I screwed up._

Then he remembered his senpais words. 

_“The same as me, then.”_

_Wait a minute._

“I guess so,” he whispered softly, still refusing to look at him in the eye. 

It was difficult being queer in a household with such high expectations, and Kyoya knew that more than anyone. He didn’t really think that he was gonna end up spilling his secret, especially one so risky for him that could literally ruin his life if anyone found out, the moment he realized that someone else he knew was gay, that he wasn’t the only one. And a  Hitachiin  at that. 

He was so screwed. 

Kyoya started frantically coming up with excuses in his head for what those “other reasons” could be, expecting Kaoru to ask. 

What he didn’t expect, however, was Kaoru to be tearing up when he looked back over at him. 

“Hey-“ 

“I hate this. I hate myself for being like this,” he started sobbing, crumpling down to the floor. “Why the hell can’t I be like my brother, fawning over some  _girl.”_

Kyoya understood that feeling all too well. One wrong move and he could lose whatever chance he had at inheriting anything from his father’s company, or even get disowned. He already wasn’t as amazing as his brothers, but being gay on top of that? Not being able to give his parents grandchildren or marry a women and live a happy life? It sucked, he hated himself for that so much. 

“Look, I—“ Kyoya swallowed, and stood up, walking quietly towards the orange haired boy. 

Without saying a word, and surprising himself even, he leaned down and embraced Kaoru. 

Out of all the responses Kaoru expected, that was certainly not one of them; but he hugged him back tightly nonetheless, grateful for the shoulder to cry on. 

“It’ll be okay,” Kyoya whispered, “we’ll be fine.” Even though in all honesty, he didn’t believe those words. Their lives could be ruined at any moment if their parents ended up being homophobic. 

Kyoya didn’t know how to be vulnerable with another person, how to express his emotions or even how to cry, but for the first time in his life he thought he found something—someone—who he wanted to protect. Someone who was going through a similar struggle. 

They sat there, still holding eachother, for a few minutes while Kaoru calmed down. The room was silent except for the sniffling. 

The first year jumped back, startled and seeming to have realize what he had done, “I’m so sorry senpai, I—“ 

“You have no reason to apologize,” Kyoya said, voice returning back to his normal serious tone, “so don’t worry about it. I won’t tell anyone if you don’t.” 

Although that last bit sort of felt like a bit of a threat, Kaoru understood the situation they were in. Knowing his senpai, he probably didn’t even mean to hint at a secret like that so impulsively, it just spilled out unexpectedly, like a glass of water overflowing. 

“I won’t,” he replied softly, leaning back in his direction, “just...”  _Hold me....Please._

Kyoya didn’t need to hear the request, he understood. Wrapping his arms back around him gently, he leaned towards him as well. He closed his eyes, sinking into the embrace and shared body heat. 

It was quiet, but in a comfortable way. Their hearts beating almost in sync, almost as a single unit. 

They pulled apart when they started hearing the chaos approaching, Kaoru’s face on fire from embarrassment, and the boy in glasses returning back to his work, trying to return to his normal blank face and repress any reaction to what the two of them just did. 

It felt...Nice, though. To find another one who understood shame for being the way they were born. They had a lot more in common than they previously thought. 

Maybe they could get through this never ending cycle of unnecessary shame and fear together.

**Author's Note:**

> this is the first fic I've written since um. my 16 page warrior cats fanfic I wrote in fourth grade so --
> 
> Im sorry in advance cause it's probably really shitty but um. oh well i suppose
> 
> comments/criticism + kudos are very much appreciated!! (but you don't have to lmfao) <33 
> 
> thanks for reading!!


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